Mark the freelancer blinked at his computer screen. The email subject read: “Friday Wrap-Up – Final Deadline Today!”
Friday?
That couldn’t be right. He glanced at his calendar. No help—he’d forgotten to flip the page since last month.
He checked his phone. Friday, 3:42 p.m.
A loud crack echoed in his head. That was the sound of his mental hard drive frying.
He had exactly 18 minutes before the client expected a “quick update” on a project he started outlining in his dreams.
The problem wasn’t procrastination.
Okay, maybe it was procrastination.
But Mark’s internal calendar operated on something closer to “freelancer time,” which runs slower than dog years and is mostly powered by coffee, panic, and misplaced optimism.
He dove into action:
Step 1: Slap together every half-finished Google Doc titled “Final Draft v1 REAL THIS TIME.”
Step 2: Stitch them into one Frankenstein monster of a document.
Step 3: Add buzzwords. Clients love buzzwords.
(“Synergistic alignment”, “deep-dive pivot”, “authentic engagement”—none of it made sense, but it sounded expensive.)
With one minute to spare, he hit Send.
Then he heard a ding.
A reply. Already? That was fast.
Client: “Thanks Mark! Looks great. See you Monday!”
Mark leaned back in his chair, exhausted but triumphant.
He had beaten the clock.
Until… he heard the sound of a school bus stopping outside.
His kid burst through the door and yelled, “Dad! You forgot to pick me up—AGAIN!”
Mark’s coffee went cold.
His soul left his body.
“Okay,” he whispered to himself.
“Maybe next week, I’ll buy a real calendar.”
Spoiler: He wouldn’t.
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