One of the most sensitive yet rewarding and unthankful relationships would be with a parent. I know most of you would immediately get a bit flabbergasted by the term ‘unthankful,’ but it’s a factual claim.
How?
Here at Sphere Medium We will unveil some of the most unorthodox perspectives of this relationship!
The beginning
It is considered to be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences in any couple’s life. When the woman finally reveals to her husband that she’s going to deliver a beautiful baby in a matter of months! The entire world becomes gorgeous, every single shopping trip is now about the unborn child. A child that is not even here yet, yet is being celebrated among those that are actually ‘living’ the life.
The Novelty
We humans are very ungrateful beings. It’s a fact. I am not saying it, I am speaking from experiences and observations. We are psychologically so ungrateful that up until the moment our desire is actually a desire, we can and will do anything to make it happen. Yet, when the desire becomes reality, the novelty wears off, and that is when our true selves come out. More like it reveals our true colors!
Similar is the case with parenting. Up until the moment the woman delivers the baby and a few weeks have passed, novelty starts wearing off and we get irritable. Sleepless nights, disturbed routines, agitation, and a somewhat angry attitude—well, it is going to happen if a new person joins the family. And the person is merely a being with no concept of life at all.
Anyway, once the child hits the age of 3 to 5, our focus shifts from enjoying and appreciating their cute noises and funny voices to somewhat of a mildly ruthless dictator. ‘Don’t do this!’, ‘Don’t scream!’, ‘Don’t be rude!’, ‘Don’t be impolite’, ‘Eat your vegetables if you want to watch your favorite shows!’ I mean, come on! Doesn’t this sound like a client/vendor relationship or employer/employee interaction? ‘If you achieve your targets, then we will give you a bonus, a car, housing allowance, and foreign trips!
Reflective & Receptive
We forget one thing, ‘WE WERE ONCE KIDS TOO’ and we also deliberately ignore that a kid is NOT in the state to take orders or commands. Kids are reflective and receptive. They surely can hear your voice, but they’ll do as you do! They’re great imitating machines. I know it is hard to believe, but you may give it a try. Observe your attitude with others, and I can guarantee that it would resonate on a much larger scale. Not instantly, perhaps, but in the coming few months or years.
It is absolutely imperative to constantly remind yourself of the following:
- They are going through hormonal changes and need to be addressed in a careful tone (kids can read your tone, body language like a pro!)
- If they’re not abiding by the ‘rules’ of your ‘kingdom’, it is perfectly normal. If, however, they do listen to everything you say and don’t retaliate or be a little rebel, they’re being kids! Otherwise, there won’t be much difference between me and my 3 sons! (Personal experience)
- Letting go of the EGO is one of the hardest things for anyone, especially when it’s about letting go of the wounds in your ego. Kids, sometimes deliberately, and sometimes unintentionally hurt our egos. How? By not listening to you in public, making a remark that would make you go nuts! To have a relationship with a solid future (although nothing is guaranteed apart from power failures in my country), the chances are pretty bright if you know how to let go.
- Appreciation and constructive feedback are what they’re seeking. They want to do better, but unless and until they’ve demonstrated such aspects, your expectation of them listening to you and then doing as they’re told would be in vain!
- Read their body language and tone of voice. Is the kid really angry, or is it something else that is making him/her take such an attitude with you?
- Invest time and effort in them rather than spending time with them. Anything that falls in the category of ‘spending’ gives you timely satisfaction. Such as, screaming your lungs out on them, physically assaulting them, or giving them spiritual bruises by constantly reminding them how much of a failure they are! Investment, on the other hand, requires patience, letting go, understanding, and even getting your own ego and self-respect damaged! But just like investing in the future needs a lot of patience, humbleness, and absolute zero reactivity; similarly, while investing time and effort with kids, one must have all these elements in their mind.
Parenting Tip: In short, no matter what you do for them, you will always:
- Get hurt or disappointed by that one kid who you love the most (we all have our favorite ones, don’t we?).
- One of them would eventually end up saying, ‘I wish you could’ve done a little bit more for us!’
Thank you for reading, To ensure authenticity and thoroughness, I used a range of sources when putting this blog together. Do leave feedback in the comments section below, and carry on reading here at Sphere Medium
FAQs
Realising the child is still growing up and has a lot to learn helps one to be patiently. Clear, calm boundaries and positive reinforcement also assist control frustration.
As a kid grows up, they often become rebellious. Put honest conversation with them ahead of disagreements with them.
Finding a balance is easier if you set reasonable limits and praise your child for their efforts. Follow up with positive feedback every time someone does something well. Commentaries that teach discipline should never be said by themselves. This builds self-confidence and respect.
Though they absorb all you do for them, children do not always show thanks. Your efforts will show up in values and growth over time. Share freely about your feelings to promote respect between you.
Promote discussion!
Make them at ease in communicating themselves. Listen to them.
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Writer | Scribbler of Dramatic Verses | Zoophilist | Empath |In the midst of writing my very first Novel | Mens Skincare Coming Soon | Husband’s Right Hand
